A Gallifreyan Wedding (For Real)

This isn’t a wedding announcement. Don’t get your hopes up.

I just saw a blog post from an event planner and wedding officiant, about a “Gallifreyan Wedding” based on the Series 6 Doctor Who finale. I have a lot of feelings about this, and while I don’t necessarily think that a Wedding of River Song-style ceremony is necessarily a bad thing, I don’t think it can fully be called Gallifreyan either.

Welcome to the Doctor Who fandom, where we see a battlefield wedding performed and immediately accept it as the cultural standard.

The popular idea of a Gallifreyan wedding is really just a secularized Wiccan Handfasting. If I were to plan my own, I’d personally go all out for the “Gallifreyan” aspects of this ceremony, rather than basing it completely on the episode. As I am a Gallifreyan Cultural Reconstructionist, I have a few ideas on how to do this. (All hypothetical, of course– I’m not planning a wedding any time soon.)

Jennifer and Edward WinterRose once did something similar, which they recorded here (picture taken from the same source), and which originally got my mind running with regards to Gallifreyan Tradition Society marriage rites.

  • Both my partner and I would be dressed in ceremonial robes, in the colors of our respective chapters. The officiant of the ceremony would, of course, be dressed in the Gold Usher’s attire.
  • The ones consenting to the union would not be my or my partner’s parents, but representatives of her House within the Gallifreyan Tradition Society (or mine, if that’s what we’ve arranged prior to the ceremony.)
  • The decorations would not be DW-themed in the way most people are thinking (police boxes are not a traditional Gallifreyan motif, neither is galaxy print, neither is blue and silver unless you happen to be a Cerulean), and would in fact be quite austere– probably just a white and gold banner behind us, bearing the Seal of Rassilon, flanked by two banners in the colors of our Chapters, bearing our names in Gallifreyan. Lighting would be mostly firelight, if possible.
  • Music would be provided by a choir. From my own recovered memories, I remember that choral music was a big part of many ceremonies on Gallifrey.
  • The handfasting part of the ceremony would be done with three cords– one each in our Chapters’ colors, and one in (obviously) white and gold. In the symbolism of Gallifreyan Reconstruction, white and gold are the colors of authority and sovereignty, worn by those of high rank (the Lord President and Gold Usher, mostly. It’s worth noting that my Acolyte robes, which I wear on spirit walks to Gallifrey, are also in white and gold, with red accents.) The colors of white and gold also signify that something transcends House and Chapter, and is independent of all affiliations. It is similar to the Celestial Intervention Agency’s black and white, in that respect.
  • The three cords would symbolize myself, my partner, and our union, which transcends the boundaries of House and Chapter and which is held as sacred and inviolable in the eyes of the Council.

It may seem odd, planning a wedding when I can’t find the courage to start dating again, but honestly, this is healing to me. My ex-fiancee denied her Gallifreyan nature, and mine, until it was convenient to acknowledge it, and this is part of my way of reclaiming it. I’m holding out hope that one day I’ll find someone like me. Someone who is part of my world, or at least wants to be. It’s impossible, but I can say I have faith.

via A Gallifreyan Wedding

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7 thoughts on “A Gallifreyan Wedding (For Real)

    1. Things are actually going pretty shit, all things considered. But that’s more due to money being tight than anyone I know.

      How are you? saidtherose gave me your number but I won’t have a working phone for a minute

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      1. Honestly……. I’m good spiritually but that’s the only way in which I’m good rn. I am scheming and coming up with plans, though! Things are gonna be fine in the long run.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. My husband and I elected not to incorporate any aspect of Doctor Who into our civil ceremony (although my mother-in-law managed to get some TARDIS blue decorations on some of the cupcakes, and my bridesmaid gave me a little TARDIS filled with blue “energy” crystals, with a keyfob saying “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue” to carry in the clutch bag I held as opposed to flowers!) because it’s only myself who is heavily into the fandom. Being Pagan myself, though, the elements of a handfasting weren’t lost on me during River and Eleven’s marriage (which I thought was beautiful – they even used a red cord to symbolise their binding). I would have liked a handfasting after our marriage, but my husband is an atheist and he admitted that it would have weirded him out if we’d done that – and I respect his non-beliefs as much as he respects my beliefs, so I chose not to put him through something he didn’t want to do.

    However, one of our closest friends wrote “Fezes are cool” in the guest book 🙂

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    1. I have mad respect for people who can live in relationships with people who don’t share their beliefs. I tried it for the longest time with my ex, and it turned into her being jealous of my Patron because my relationship with Him came before my relationship with her. After that, I don’t think I could ever have a long-term serious relationship with someone who wasn’t at least spiritually SIMILAR to me.

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      1. To be honest, I think my husband enjoys Samhain and Yule as much as I do, in spite of his not sharing the same faith. Either way, he respects my feelings enough that he allows me to have my rituals (he even bought me the athame that I fell in love with years ago), and I respect his non-beliefs enough that I’ll get a Pagan friend over and send him to the pub with another friend.

        My Patron is Arachne. I remember telling Dom in hospital that I’d just been informed that I was dying all those years ago (still here! Time Lord!) and a spider came dancing up to us. There’s really strong detergent on hospital floors, and it struck me as unusual that a spider could make it all the way in to the main atrium to get to me before she died. I still believe that she took the death that was supposed to be mine.

        My mother-in-law is as witchy as I am, and she and my husband’s stepdad both know that I’m the same way. My father-in-law, on the other hand, doesn’t even know that I have tattoos! My MIL thinks the ones I have are cool – but I’m getting one removed in time (I’ll probably replace it with the Seal of Rassilon, or similar).

        I think that my husband and I have both learned things from each other over the years; he certainly doesn’t think that spiders running up to me is ever a coincidence 🙂

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